Friday, 29 January 2016

florence | boboli gardens

After my stay in Amsterdam, I flew to my favourite, favourite city - Florence.  Whilst in Florence, I spent an afternoon wandering around the Boboli Gardens, where I was also befriended by a super cute little cat, who followed me around and hung out with me on a bench by a fountain for awhile :) (this made me so happy!  I missed the Fur Kid while I was away).  The gardens have beautiful views over Florence and the surrounding countryside, not to mention the wonderful Avenue of Cypress Trees (incidentally, what's with the phrase not to mention when it is clearly mentioning the thing?).

Anyhoo, here are some photos!


Avenue of Cypress Trees (La Via dei Cipressi):


The Isolotto:


Boboli Gardens
Piazza Pitti 1, Florence
Opening hours and days here
Entry price: 10 euro

Thursday, 28 January 2016

coastal therapy

Thank you for your lovely comments and emails regarding my last post, they really mean a lot! xo.  I am slowly pulling myself out of this latest spiral, and luckily had an appointment to see my fab, lovely counsellor this afternoon, which helped a great deal.  So, hooray for small mercies.

Lately I have been spending more time then ever on Sydney's beautiful coastline, not only because it is gorgeous but also because I find it inexplicably therapeutic.  There is something about the vastness of the ocean that is calming to me.  I particularly love the coastal walk between Bronte and Bondi, and usually can't help but take some photographs along the way.  I am also trying to shoot some prints for home, which gives me a good excuse to get out and about.  Here is my latest batch of beachy images if you are at all interested :)


Monday, 25 January 2016

today


I could barely get out of bed today.

Last night I went to sleep early, simply to bring the day to an end as soon as possible because I couldn't stand being awake with my thoughts any longer and also because my heart just hurt.  Great plan, no?  No, because of course, the downside of going to sleep early is waking up early, and the waking up is fine for that one, single moment before reality kicks in and then you just think shit, but by then you feel too awake and too awful to go back to sleep no matter how long you lie there staring at the ceiling and anyway, the Fur Kid has somehow sensed that you have opened your eyes and started meowing incessantly behind the closed door, and then it's all over.  And so the interminably long day begins, and you eventually force yourself to get out of the house just to do something, anything, but it feels like being underwater, or in some kind of bubble with the world going on all around you, and everything is dulled and slowed down somehow and you keep checking your watch and thinking how can that be the time? but there it is.  Midday, one pm, and so on.

It sucks.

I bought a book: Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig.  I was aimlessly wandering through the bookstore, desperately trying to kill some time, and the title kinda grabbed me for what should be fairly obvious reasons.  In the book, Haig writes:

People say "take it one day at a time."  But, I used to think to myself, that is all right for them to say.  Days were mountains.  A week was a trek across the Himalayas.  You see, people say that time is relative, but it really bloody is.

Einstein said the way to understand relativity was to imagine the difference between love and pain.  "When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second.  When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour."  Every moment was red-hot.  And the only real thing I wished for, beyond feeling better, was for time to move quicker.  I would want 9am to be 10am.  I would want the morning to be the afternoon.  I would want the 22nd of September to be the 23rd of September.  I would want the light to be dark and the dark to be light.

The thing is, rationally I know that things should get better eventually, although they may become worse before they improve (I absolutely love this quote by Rainer Maria Wilke: Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.  Just keep going.  No feeling is final).  But man, this is totally crap.  I wish I could just crawl out of myself somehow, you know?  The inescapability of one's thoughts and feelings is positively terrifying.

So anyway.  It's 7pm and I'm here with my book and my laptop and my Fur Kid and some probably-crappy movie I made myself rent, and once I have killed the next four hours I will go to bed and do it all again tomorrow.

Ugh :-/

PS.  Thanks for reading and sorry about the downer post.

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